Ruminations of a Rundown Replicant

Liar Liar

In the movie, Liar Liar, a shyster lawyer is cursed. For a single day, he must tell the truth, and nothing but the truth.

Imagine that.

Imagine that ScoMo has to tell the truth all the time. Here is ScoMo's post curse address to the nation.

Dear Normal and LGBTIAQ+ people

I hope I haven't left anyone out.

This is a momentous day for me. I'm going to confess my sins, and reclaim my soul.

[Pause]

I've been lying to you.

I know that revelation comes as a surprise to you, but there it is.

I'm one of the handful of politicians and unelected bankers who create money out of thin air.

And it's legal. How good is that?

Unlike you poor sods, my government doesn't need a tax income, and it doesn't need to borrow (issue bonds), in order to spend whatever it likes. There's no financial limit, and there's no shortage of political donors, ideologues and foreign bosses that need our financial help.

This is our biggest con. Getting you to believe that your currency issuing government runs the same as your income constrained household or business.

We just need to keep an eye on inflation. There is a real resource limit, and that limits our spending.

But, in practice, that's not a problem for us. We usually don't spend enough to fully employ real resources, such as people.

We try to spend less than the tax we collect for any given period. It looks like we're living within our means but looks can be deceiving as we all know.

If we spend more than we collect in taxes (a deficit), we borrow the difference (issue bonds). It's a waste of time because, why would we borrow, when we can create any amount of money out of thin air.

We do it to convince you that we had to borrow to make ends meet, just as you have to. We make you believe that your pain is our pain.

If we were a good government, we'd always have our eye on fully employing all available real resources. That spend would have regard for inflation, our voter mandate and tax.

We would look at tax as a means of freeing up real resources so that they're made available to government.

But instead, we look at tax as our upper limit spending target. Rarely will that level of spending correspond with full employment of labour.

But, I'm running a bad government. I can't believe I just said that. I'm looking to cut both taxes and spending, with spending always less than the tax income for any given period.

Our spending is subject to our donor mandate, and direction from our foreign master.

It's directed at protecting assets, and increasing the value of those assets.

Bear in mind that we own all the assets.

You sheep are in massive debt thanks to me and my neoliberal predecessors. You're always vulnerable to having stuff confiscated by us. You're always in danger of eviction. I might be a Christian, but I'm not a good person.

You voted for inequality whoever you voted for.

And, of course, we don't care if lots of sheep are idle.

We aren't sheep. I represent the plutocrats and technocrats. I take my orders from the US.

We don't care if idle sheep are being put through our privatised unemployment wringer.

I know it's our fault that not enough jobs are created. But idle sheep will always be dole bludgers to us. They have to be treated badly lest those in work think that they can ask for pay increases.

I'm particularly proud that a succession of neoliberal governments has been able to subdue you sheep for so long.

Because of our magical ability to create money out of thin air, we could provide every person with a job who wants one. A Job Guarantee. A return to the olden days of full employment, and government apprenticeships and cadetships.

Imagine young people with a future, and experienced old people contributing.

And, we could solve the housing crisis subject to real resource availability.

But let me stop there. There's so much good I could have done in this world.

But I didn't.

I was happy to sin, and then have my sins absolved from on high.

Luckily for me, you voted my cronies and me into high office. I don't know what to say.

Thank you.

Every night I say a prayer for the poor, and psychologically damaged. The Environment. Climate Change. Does that help?

And, one more little thing before I forget.

We don't have any oil.

We won't be able to afford it soon.

And it wouldn't surprise, if war brings supply to an end. We've been doing our bit to bring that on.

I've been stocking up on baked beans and toilet paper. That's how serious it is. Even I know that when diesel trucks stop, so does everything else.

Not to worry. We have a flaky electricity grid that won't last long without fossils. What a pity that we sold the coal and gas to foreigners. Actually, come to think of it, we sold everything that couldn't be nailed down. Oops!!

As soon as we find someone to do a deal with, everything will be right again.

[Pause]

I almost forgot.

There's one more tiny thing.

The thingamajigs that make the food all run on diesel. The fertiliser that fixes the nitrogen is made with gas.

I'll put that on my to-do list.

Put food on deal list.

Deal making is our plan for dealing with economic meltdown, de-population and going medieval.

Other than that, we've been diverting your attention towards renewables, electric cars and climate change. Suits us. We're making heaps of money while you waste your time.

The energy predicament's been in full view since forever but you're still not seeing it. It's an invisible tsunami. You don't see many of those.

I'm hopeful that I can do a deal with someone on this energy thingy.

Sorry.

That last one was a lie.

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